Don´t play slim with me!

 [Não te armes em fino comigo!]


I heard it once: for a wise, half a word is enough (Para bom entendedor, meia palavra basta). Clearly, no foreigner learning Portuguese could have invented that saying!

Did I get it right? Portuguese oranges are made of gold in the morning, turn into silver in the afternoon and kill people at night (A laranja de manhã é ouro, à tarde é prata e à noite mata)!!

What’s the reason for these sudden mood swings?! Portuguese oranges are real bit#$%!

Furthermore, why keep on growing these evil seeds?! I was morbidly fascinated, yet I feared for those who live in Allgarve. How high would the farmers’ murder’s rate be? Strangely enough, I have never seen a headline with “6 murdered by orange gang” (or concentrate orange juice, in the real world).

And then it hit me: in a land where people eat pork from heaven (toucinho do céu) and those who don´t cry don´t get snacks (Quem não chora não mama), why wouldn’t oranges be serial killers?

 From that moment on, I decided: I should not play slim with oranges!

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